Not that we would know, considering we’ve never even seen a female breast in real life, let alone come close enough to a woman to have a conversation about it, but we hear that a lot of women are somewhat, let’s say, self-conscious about their breast size.
Modern standards of beauty being what they are, it’s common for women to show a little bit of breast cleavage to signal confidence and sexiness (but heaven forbid a man display a little bit of his God-given testicle cleavage, amirite guys?), but what if you’re one of the many ladies just a little too shy of material to work with? Sure, there’s the cartoon standard of stuffing watermelons into your shirt, but who’s got the time to hunt down two watermelons of the exact same size, anyway?
Luckily for small-chested ladies everywhere, Japanese beauty product manufacturer CosMedic has taken the guesswork and produce out of non-surgical breast augmentation with this deceptively simple air bra!
The company’s new Lady Air is a bra specially fitted for small-chested women. Each of the bra’s cups comes with a cotton air cushion that can be inflated by pushing on a special air pump hidden discreetly in the bra’s underwire. It’s like a pair of Reebok Pumps for your boobs!
A product like this, of course, wouldn’t be complete without hilarious promotional materials that are an uncomfortable combination of late-night infomercial and late-night Cinemax softcore porn, hence this awkwardly pornographic YouTube commercial:
CosMedic notes that the Lady Air is superior to simple padded bras because the Lady Air is lighter, easier and more comfortable to wear, and, crucially can inflate to larger sizes. We presume there’s still an upper limit to the Lady Air’s inflation capacity, too, however, so don’t expect to be strutting around like you’ve spontaneously sprouted beach balls on your chest.
While this is all well and good for women with personal issues regarding their breast size, we can’t help but wonder when men with less than ample testicleavage will get a similar product.
Please don’t forget that a Japanese c cup isn’t equal to a western c cup, so please ask for advise to our female staff.